Domestic Violence is a national problem
Sun City, Calif.
Domestic Violence is a national problem. The central issue is one of control, when one partner wants to control the other. This creates conflict and often evolves into physical force, when threat of force is used to get and maintain control.
Domestic Violence can take other forms, such as verbal abuse, intimidation, threats, killing of pets, destruction of personal items, etc. All of these forms are used in an attempt to maintain control. Isolation is another technique, trying to isolate their partner from their family and friends, so they become more dependent on them.
During the Vietnam War, over 50,000 men were killed in Vietnam, yet during that same period of time, more women were killed by their husbands and/or boyfriends in situations of Domestic Violence. A national memorial has been built to honor those men and rightly so, but no memorial has been built to honor the women killed from Domestic Violence.
Domestic Violence knows no social limitations; it occurs in families rich and poor, well educated and low educated, among all nationalities and social status. Alcohol and drugs may be contributing factors, but the central issue is control. Why do some people feel the need to control others? Some people want to control others even when they have no control of themselves. Why?
Many shelters for women and children that have been created to protect the victims of Domestic Violence are being closed due to lack of funds. Social agencies are not able to maintain the funding needed for these shelters, so these women and children are left to be on their own. The average woman goes back to her abusive husband and/or boyfriend eight times, before she finally decides to leave. How many times do you think an abused man would go back to his spouse? My guess is not more than once. There are many reasons for this, but most of them are economic. Control of the checkbook and/or credit card is another technique used to keep their spouse or partner dependent.
This is a national problem that needs to be addressed, but is often ignored by our politicians, who also want to be in control.
David Moe was born in Minnesota and graduated from the University of Minnesota, Morris in 1964 and received his M.A. degree from San Francisco State University in 1975. He spent four years in the Navy and 32 years in the insurance business. He is married to his wife, Thordis, and they have two daughters and four grandchildren. They now live in Sun City, California.
This article originally appeared in the Dec. 5, 2014, issue of the Norwegian American Weekly.