— You can’t throw Bjarne off Devil’s Rock with a parachute!
— Why not? I bet he’s hankering for some air.
— Bjarne? Wanna parachute jump? Pupper wanna jump?
— Bjarne? Wanna go splat? Pupper go splat?
— Stop playing around! Let’s get the bag on him!
— I’ve decided to live like Bear Grylls! The open office’s own Survivor Man! Never at a loss!
— Kjell, you rat!! Where are you?
— Quick! What would Bear do!?
— Is he playing dead?
— Fantastic, isn’t it?
— 200 bucks to mow the lazy neighbor’s lawn! Hee hee!
— But… I’m not fin…
— Hush! He’s coming! He’s coming! He’s coming!
— Of course I mowed the lawn myself, Father!
Han Ola og Han Per
by Peter J. Rosendahl, with new translations by John Erik Stacy
— That there is a strange machine you have. But what is it used for then?
— Oh Ola, you know so little. This is a force feeder to feed up pigs. I’ll start it and give a demo.
— This is a weird appliance.
— It is easy to fatten up a pig when you have a machine like this. I shipped three pigs to Equity the other day that tipped the scales at fifteen hundred pounds.
— No, I’ve never heard of anything like it before.
— Well, sir, I’ll be shipping pigs worth many thousand dollars this fall. I’ll tell you, there’s money in the pig business. It is a business that never blows up, so to speak—
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